It’s My Life

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It’s my life

It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
(It’s my life)

Birthdays are times for reflection and hopefully looking forward but this year it seemed it was more of a time of bittersweet reflection. Last year at this time my Dad was receiving palliative care in our home as he was slowly being taken from us by cancer. Just going out for my birthday dinner with my guy seemed horribly selfish to me and the little girl inside of me was afraid to leave her Dad at home for fear something would happen while I was gone. The day before my birthday last year had been very hard with my Dad not being able to keep anything down and finding it really hard to get back into bed on his own. It wasn’t until my father had me sit down close to him and make a promise to me that I was able to go out for a little while.

” I will be okay without you and you need to go out and have some fun. it’s your birthday. I am worried about you. Try to have have a good time.  I need to rest. I will feel better knowing you are out and not sitting here with me.”

12 days later he left me forever.

On Monday night I’m standing in the concert arena at a BonJovi concert when the song “Its My Life” comes on and I feel myself looking ahead to the future….

My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I’m alive
It’s my life

You never know when a moment of clarity occurs and it might even happen at a rock concert.  Who knew 🙂

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