He’s a BAD boy

“He’s a BAD boy” the little girl in Johnny’s class says very loudly while we are all sitting around the lunch tables at the Pumpkin Patch farm. Silence. (…) Johnny is not doing these things just to be BAD. He is trying to communicate, get attention and sometimes he is stimming. It is time to…

Pinning Down Autism

I think sometimes it’s hard pinning down what Autism looks like.   I remember when Johnny was two and he had lost the few words he could say and we were beginning to panic,  our family doctor kept saying we will have to get him evaluated for speech delay in a few months but don’t panic. “Sometimes boys…

What if ?

What if when parents find out that their child had Autism that they heard this: You’ve done nothing wrong. You didn’t cause this. You haven’t failed your child. You were given an instruction manual for a Ford and your child is a Ferrari. So, congratulations! Your child is NOT fundamentally different from other children. You…

The Best People….

One of the best things have happened to me and my family because of Autism is the people we have met along the way. Often my husband and I will remark at how blessed we are that we have some incredible folks in our life that instantly “get” what we go through. Since my little…

I Am An Actress

I am an actress.  I never set out to being one.   I somehow fell into it.  It was a way to protect myself,  my family, and most especially my son.   My Autistic son who for half of his life was nonverbal.  How is Johnny doing? I think that when you are a parent of…

Mother

  When I look over and see Johnny with a big smile on his face and laughing about something I think of “her.”   When Princess stops and looks at flowers at the neighbourhood corner store I think of “her” showing me how to plant flowers in the flower beds with “her.”   When Johnny…

When Was He Ready? Does He Ever Get To Be Just A Child?

  When was he ready?  That is one of the questions I get asked often from people who have known Johnny for a long time or from others who have heard of the progress he has made.  I like to think that all children develop at their own pace and that any developmental guidelines are…

Special Message To My Son’s Teachers

  I wanted to take a moment and thank the educators  and professionals who have worked with my son and those who work with him today.   Some of you follow my blog to keep up on his progress and others might stumble upon my musings in a happy accident.  So thank you to wonderful and…

The Winter Woods

  Above is a painting done by my son Johnny that he calls, “The Winter Woods.”  He has painted the stark, barren trees reflecting in the water of the frozen pond.  It is a reminder of the days we leave behind as Spring arrives.  He painted this the day we learned of the tragic loss of…

Cuddles and Pancakes

It’s Sunday, I gaze outside and we have had more snow. Do I take Johnny to Mass (church) ? I can hear the kids waking up and giggling about what stuffed animals to bring into our bedroom and who will be first. I can’t help but smile and cherish this time. Hearing Johnny tease his…

A Pile Of Leaves

  I saw a big pile of leaves that just beckoned to the kids to run and jump in.  It was Mother Nature’s version of a giant ball pit playroom that is in every Ikea.  Johnny was having a challenging time after a very busy week and we thought what a great opportunity to throw…

Poppies

  As far back as I can remember Johnny has been fascinated by the tradition of wearing “poppies” once a year on our coats to honour Remembrance Day.  Is it the colour?  Is it because its a predictable tradition that comes again each year like clock work?  He started learning about it when he was…

Family Rules

A friend shared this with me on Facebook and I am going to print it out and frame it to share expectations of what we would like our home to be and feel like.  I am also going to create a story on our iPad for the kids o make the words come alive to them…

Love Fiercely. Forgive Quickly….

Words of wisdom #sayings #thoughts #life A post shared by Cyn (@sunflowercyn) on Oct 10, 2014 at 9:26pm PDT A friend posted this on Facebook and I had to share. Be present. Make Love. Make tea. Avoid small talk. Embrace conversation. Buy a plant, water it. Make your bed. Make someone else’s bed. Have a…

Letter To Parents Who Find Themselves In The Same Boat As Us

Letter To Parents Who Find Themselves in the same boat as us.   We have our hard days too.  I just wanted to be honest with anyone that is reading my blog that it’s not all sunshine and roses when you are dealing with Autism.  As Johnny gets older I am more aware of what I…

If You Can’t Talk Do You Understand? If You Don’t Talk….

  Is speaking words by using your mouth a true measure of our  level of understanding?  If we have challenges doing oral reading does it mean we cannot read?  If we only answer questions with yes or no responses or with three word sentences does it mean we are not capable of more?  If it takes…

Personal Qualities Not Measured By Tests

  When you are raising a child that is not reaching his or her milestones you find yourself in the midst of test after test, assessment after assessment and then sitting and hearing everything your child CAN’T DO and hardly a mention of what they CAN DO.   A fellow blogger shared this and it…

Thinking of “her”

  When I look over and see Johnny with a big smile on his face and laughing about something I think of “her.” When Princess stops and looks at flowers at the neighbourhood corner store I think of “her” showing me how to plant flowers in the flower beds with “her.” When Princess is so…

Pity is….A Four Letter Word

Do you know that awkward feeling you get when someone is making an assumption about you or your life?  Imagine how I feel when it relates to my son.  As a rule I do not let folks know that Johnny is Autistic when he meets new people.  I am not embarrassed or ashamed but rather…

We Are Going To Talk About Feelings….

Yesterday afternoon…. “We are now going to talk about our feellngs Johnny.  Remember last week we talked about how our engine can run fast, or slow or be just right?” Johnny is in his third session of a 8 week block of a combined OT / SLP therapy at the hospital’s child development centre.  They…

It’s My Life

It’s my life It’s now or never I ain’t gonna live forever I just want to live while I’m alive (It’s my life) Birthdays are times for reflection and hopefully looking forward but this year it seemed it was more of a time of bittersweet reflection. Last year at this time my Dad was receiving…

Christmas Lights and Plugs

*Painting Christmas Lights* Johnny has always loved looking at Christmas lights. He loves the colours, the glow, the sparkle, the twinkles and the shininess of them. He likes the way they change when they are are off and then when they are turned on again. He likes to watch us bring out the strings and…

Happy New Year – Time for Reflection and Thanks

2012 was a tumultuous year for us and filled with many joys but profound sadness that I tried to share on my blog.   When I saw my email on the last day of the year with this WordPress report about my blog I thought I would like to share it with you.  Just click…

Listening To Chopin

I remember looking over and seeing my little guy reach up and cling to the edge of the table with one hand as he pushed the power button on the stereo with another. We kept a CD of Chopin the player just for him. How old was Johnny? He was one years old and he…

Please allow me this moment

Yesterday. Please allow me this moment.  I wish I wasn’t having it but they do come.    Its how you feel when you take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back.  It’s the moment when you feel overwhelmed by the mushrooming appearance of behaviours that you thought you had already dealt with.  The exhilaration of…

Curious

The other day I was watching Curious George movie with Johnny and Princess. There is a part in the movie where George ventures into this white apartment of an opera singer who left cans of paint open in the middle of her living room. George can’t resist checking out the beautiful colors and begins to…

Sidewalk Love

I was taking the kids for a little walk after dinner last week when we came across this painted on a non-descript street. Johnny and Princess bent down and were fascinated by something they had never seen on a sidewalk before but I was drawn by the gesture made by a “boy” to a “girl.”…