I Buried Grandpa

“I buried Grandpa Mommy.” Johnny came over to me wanting help with his drawing app that he likes to use and I saw that he was using a paint tool in the app to cover a photo of him with my Dad in black paint.   I confess its a bit jarring to suddenly out…

I Remember…But Does She?

This is a blog entry that I have put off writing.  Two days ago was the anniversary of my Dad’s death.  Its funny how the months, then years creep by and suddenly the day sneaks up on you.  I know the day is coming but I actually have to be reminded about the actual date….

You Are Missed Daddy

*tissue warning* This is my second Father’s Day without my dear Dad.   He lived with us right up until he passed away and not a day goes by that  when I go upstairs I immediately see his old room and expect to see him there.  I try and focus on the happy memories of…

We Are Going To Talk About Feelings….

Yesterday afternoon…. “We are now going to talk about our feellngs Johnny.  Remember last week we talked about how our engine can run fast, or slow or be just right?” Johnny is in his third session of a 8 week block of a combined OT / SLP therapy at the hospital’s child development centre.  They…

“I want to buy flowers for Grandpa”

“I want to buy flowers for Grandpa” Two years ago we were hoping and praying along with my Father who lived with us that Johnny would be able to say some words. We could only live in hope that one day we would hear his voice letting us know what was on his mind.  On…

Days of Our Lives ~ Missing Grandpa

Last Monday afternoon I had an unexpected emotional experience regarding grief and children.  Johnny is in camp half days on Mondays so after lunch we had playtime inside for awhile letting him have a chance to relax and play with his trains.  I was tired from the heat outside and saw the time and thought…

Bumps, Emptiness and Fond Memories

    Navigating along the journey of grief is full of bumps, emptiness and fond memories but definitely more challenging when experiencing it with a child by your side. More complex when that child also has autism and the loved one was more then “Grandpa” (Wampa) but a caregiver, friend, buddy, helper, caregiver, hair ruffler,…

Are You Sad? “Shh!”

I opened up Johnny’s daily log book 2 days ago and read that he was sad at school and cried when he was in the bathroom with his EA and later when he dropped his snack on the floor at snack time. I asked him about being sad at school and he said “Momma….Momma….shhh!” and…